Romance And Finance


Romance & Finance Event Panel

L-R: Ryan, Jacquette, Tiffany, Kazi, Lyshaan, Dominique, Frank & Shawna

I’ve been attending and participating in Together Apart LIVE Convos with Chris ‘Kazi’ Rolle for a year now. Always entertaining, these events provide a space for dynamic discussions and a group healing process that is tremendously powerful. Last Saturday’s LIVE Convo: Romance & Finance held at the New York Open Center was phenomenal!

Presented by Together Apart in collaboration with Acacia Unlimited and PlanIt Brooklyn, Romance & Finance featured a distinguished panel of financial experts: Tiffany “The Budgetnista” Aliche, Lyshaan “LA” Hall, Ryan Mack, Frank Mesa and Jacquette M. Timmons, along with hosts: Chris Kazi Rolle and Dominique Reese.  Yours truly served as In-House Therapist as the collective participated in four rounds of conversation exploring how money affects and can potentially strengthen relationships. There were lots of resources and insights shared about financial well-being as well, which was great! The DVD is forthcoming so you, too, can reap the benefits of this amazing event.  Meanwhile, peep the event photo flashback video and ponder these points from the evening.

1. “Money is never just about money.” ~Jacquette M. Timmons
Money is related to just about every aspect of living, from meeting basic needs to our beliefs, moods, motivation, relationships, access to resources and more. I loved Jacquette’s points about considering the deeper issues that are often related to our relationship and understanding about money. She also hit on a key point about the three pools of money to be considered in a relationship: Mine, Yours and Ours, noting that negotiating how best to manage these three pots is usually where most of the money drama happens in relationships. Jacquette shares insights about how to create a healthy relationship with your money and your mate in her book Financial Intimacy.

2.  “Money is symbolic of other issues; it’s a magnifier and it is also a tool.”  ~Tiffany Aliche
Whether a soul is experiencing a lack of money or an abundance of money, their money situation will amplify whatever the deeper issues are at play with the individual and also in their relationships. If someone is insecure or unhappy, more money will magnify their insecurities and no money will do the same. Money in and of itself is neither bad nor good and doesn’t “make” someone better or worse. It’s a tool that, when used with skill and mastery can serve to bless you and others. Tiffany talks about how to utilize money as a tool in her book The One Week Budget.

3. “There’s nothing wrong with being ignorant. It’s staying ignorant that’s the problem.” ~Ryan Mack
Ryan was able to add a lot to the conversation about the importance of financial literacy and doing better in our financial evolution by setting goals and taking action towards reaching them. I especially appreciated his comments about communication and teamwork in relationships, both when dating and as you evolve into a more serious commitment.  He encouraged participants to let their partners into their process of achieving financial well-being. Ryan shared plenty of resources, too, that I wasn’t able to write down fast enough so you’ll have to visit his website and check out his book Living in The Village.

I could probably write an entire book on the various insights shared at this event as audience members and panelists had so much to add to the conversation, especially on the relationship tip. All in all, everyone seemed to agree that financial well-being is a necessary step and an ongoing process for all of us before, during and after relationships. We likely have some relational and financial traumas to heal from in order to be our best as individuals and as couples. Let’s go ahead and be honest about that and utilize the resources that are available to us for financial and relational evolution.

My Suggestions?

  1. Take the time to evaluate where you are emotional around money and relationships.
  2. Consider your vision for financial and relational well-being.
  3. Create goals around achieving that vision (including accessing resources and support).
  4. Follow-up with concrete action steps and track your progress at regular intervals.
  5. Be open to the dynamic and individualized roles and experiences that you are newly evolving into now in your finances and in your relationship. (As a couple, the key word is “we” so this process will be an ongoing “we thing.”)

By the way relationships are about relating, communicating, sharing, coordinating and collaborating. Above and beyond the superficial stuff, there’s another soul with whom you are journeying on the path of life. Enjoy it. Take your time. Always stay on your growing edge to evolve in all aspects of your life, individually and collectively. The same way that money magnifies, marriage magnifies, too. It is a legally binding financial agreement that is not to be entered into lightly. Once committed, the work is going to be around continually growing into the best “we” in all aspects of your lives: health, career, relationships, finances and spirituality.

What would you like to add to the conversation about romance and finance? If you came out to the event and have some points to add, feel free to post. All are welcome to share your thoughts and questions below. I’ll reply back as soon as I can.

With BOLD BLAZING HOT L.O.V.E. (Light Opulence Victory Eternal)


SHAWNA MARIE is a Spiritual Leader, psychotherapist and author. She is the CEO of HealingTruthCenter and provides consultations to empower others to their greatest potential.

Copyright 2011. All rights reserved.


2 Responses to “Romance And Finance”

  1. I love it! Well said.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: